I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
