Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
