maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
