omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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