guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
