so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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