Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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