I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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