Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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