thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
