Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
