Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
