Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
