My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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