Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
