My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
