Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
