Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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