dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
zippers are such a cool invention
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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