fuck your aforementioned shoe
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
