I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
where am i from again
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
