I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
