She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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