After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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