bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
