i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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