Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
