So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
