Where is the hickey?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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