I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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