so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
