I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
