I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
