This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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