Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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