yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
