Small penises have feelings too.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
