literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
