$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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