I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
