He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
