Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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