chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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