He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
