Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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