even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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