That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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