i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the condom got lost in my hair
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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