I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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