Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
