Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
