Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
