I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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